written by
Andrea Kaldy

I Am Defective - The First (In)Visibility Story We Tell

personal development visibility playing big 5 min read

One of the visibility stories we tell ourselves is that we are defective by default. Like we have come off the production line and we were thrown into that bin reserved for factory seconds.

While others, shiny, brand new, in perfect condition, squeaky clean and beautiful. Those are the people who get to places. They are successful in their careers, they have no money or relationship issues. You know, those Instagram kind of people.

If I asked you when was the first time you've consciously thought of yourself as a factory second, as someone who was faulty by default, what do you think you would say?

Let me help you with a few examples.

You're having a chat with your friends and they are sharing about their achievements and their joy. While you're happy for them, you feel like you're just not that type of person that would experience that kind of achievement.

Success is for your friend but not for you. You can't explain why you feel this way. If I asked you why you feel that you're not even on the same planet as anything that creates success, you wouldn't be able to put your finger on it.

Do you ever catch yourself keeping your mouth shut in the fear that someone might say that you're wrong?

Deep down you know you're right. You know that your fear is irrational but you just can't shake it and move past it. You keep your wisdom and your light, locked inside you because of this irrational fear.

Because nothing you say can possibly be profound or life changing for someone else. Because who the hell do you think you are to think that your wisdom and knowledge are valid.

For some of us, including me, success, abundance, love and all the good things in life seem to always happen to other people.

We are "just not that kind of people" who can be high achievers.

We rely on this story and we tell this story over and over and over again to make sure that we indeed stay small and don't enjoy the good things in life.

Either in part or full.

Because it keeps us in what designate our safe zone. It's the sandbox we exist in. We kid ourselves that it's for our own safety.

Because when we say that, it makes it OK.

We don't have to account to others for the real reason we want to keep ourselves safe. And the real reason, as we believe it to be is that we are defective by default. We just don't want anyone else to know it.

So we hide.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why do we seemingly have this embedded into our DNA?

Because it feels like it's just such a big part of us that we don't know how we would live without it.

This was my story for a long time. Like 4 decades. I grew up with parents who had a poverty mindset.

It's not that they haven't tried to create abundance. It's just that while they worked themselves stupid trying to create abundance for themselves and their two children, they never believed they deserved it.

They constantly talked about how easy it was for others to turn hard work into cash but we just weren't that type of people.

That's the language I grew up with. That's the belief that got embedded into my brain from a very young age and accompanied me into adulthood.

Not being conscious that I had the belief that I was defective by default and I didn't deserve abundance, I was toiling away on my business, for almost 2 years, getting angry that I wasn't growing as fast as others in the same category.

It took me months of journaling to finally get to the one statement that started an avalanche of awareness for me. The first invisibility story I needed to unpack.

The belief that I was not worthy of abundance, success and recognition because I was born that way.

Once this unravelled itself like a ball of yarn, the next one easier and the one after that easier still. All in all I have discovered 4 stories I was telling myself about my worth, about my ability, about my potential or lack there of.

Stories that kept me in the shadows and playing small and in that false sense of safety that not stepping into my full power provided.

Thinking back of all the clients I worked with over the last 2 years and a bit, I can now see their own stories. The stories they tell themselves to stay in their safe zones. The myths they have picked up somewhere along the way during their life time that feed the lie of unworthiness.

Some will stay there because they will never recognise those myths. Some will eventually see their stories for what they are and will shed those lies.

Those women will step out of their false safety zones in huge ways and will begin to share their light, their wisdom and their darkness as well with the rest of the world.

Because they know that it's what the world needs. Because they know that it's what other women need. Because when one woman rises, she will lift others and in turn the entire world.

I have created a safe space for you to discover your stories. This is a little taste of what it will be like.

The 7-Day Visibility Woo Woo Kit will help you start discovering what's stopping you from unfolding your power completely and what it feels like when you are free to expand into an infinite space energetically.

This #contentkitty doesn't care about his visibility.

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